‘Hunger’, 72″ X 120″, oil on canvas.

A very large painting, this painting has been in one other smallish gallery that still had a wall big enough. It sat close to the public window, and people did not like it at all. What do I mean by this enormous mountain of skin and starvation and greed, how dare I say this about YOU!!! The window was spat on at least 30 times by human pieces of shit, you know, the majority of you. The gallery owner kep it up for a few days but that was not a good sign, so we pulled it out, I took it off the stretcher, and rolled it up, that was 1997. It has stayed rolled up since then, except for this brief appearance in my video below, called ‘Painting a Picture’. This was after the major breakdown and seizure but before I had to stop using oil paint. It was a regular sized apartment and I rolled the painting out horizontally on the wall. Then put the camera on the seat of my bicycle and rolled it past the painting. There’s maybe 3
seconds in this video. But it got rolled up again immediatley.

A short video of one of the three paintings I made during the year following a seizure and major health problems. Its called tri-polar, fondly mocking my psychiatrists after they gave me my diagnosis of bi-polar disorder. The depressed maniac.

I think most artists have this concept of their masterpiece, the one painting they felt themselves was worthy of showing in a major gallery, maybe even someone in the major gallery would buy it for their collection. I spent a year in one studio painting Hunger, it was an old dance studio, with fabulous 12 foot high walls where I could hang it up.

‘Tri-polar’, 42″ X 42″, oil on canvas. Tearing myself apart from the inside you might say.

‘Hunger III’, 36″ X 60″, oil on canvas, 1993. $25,000.00 U.S.

It just appears to be ordered, almost symmetrical. I need a bigger canvas, or a wall so it can grow, and I can see where its going.

Broken Symmetry, continuing to continue because there is no choice. If you stop you fall flat on your face and break your nose, just ask any human baby. Who would want your species then?

Get back to work you! No breaks allowed, keep painting now!

The abstraction of violence. it is what I do, it keeps me out of the institute, if you know what I mean, and with people as the subject including myself there is no shortage of material.The sound I made with many programs on my old iMac, I was trying to make sadness, or grief into a sound..This abstraction we do so well without even thinking about its source, it makes the best art, music, theatre, and movies, and it makes me feel better so it’s what we all do. It allows us all to keep going to war, again and again, everyone is a hero now. All 8 billion of us. Forgetting to keep entropy at bay.

The more of us there are, the less each individual is noticed.

This is one of those styles or methods, expressionism maybe, which would attract the viewer to works which are often difficult to discuss, with the hope of doing exactly that, starting a discussion. This is far easier, in some ways, if there is a physical gallery to stand in with other people looking to think as they see. Otherwise in the digital age a discussion is very easy to have without me at all. Something I always felt important in all the arts, the viewer doesn’t need the artist anymore, they have their own discussion with the work. I’ve said everythingin the painting, I’m drained of words after that.

‘Chemical Prison’, 24″ X 36″, oil on canvas. This is one of the three paintings I made in the year following the seizure. I was taking some very powerful medications for bi-polar disorder. I don’t think they work at all. My best medication is painting these types of paintings to have a peaceful place to put the violence. The violence which is second nature to all humans.

Advanced egg theory. How is anything first.

‘The Entropic Egg’, 5″ X 7″, pencils on paper. I’m drawing with HB up to a 9B. Its like painting with graphite.