A fellow painter of large pieces said to me I should make a record of some kind, a gathering of little images and ideas created from the large ones. Maybe stitched or glued together.
As I have many large paintings, and a great deal of other work, the idea of having something small I could hold in my hand was very enticing. As much for others as it was for me to see what I got up to from my death bed.
Tearing oneself apart from the inside is a difficult concept to portray visually.
This was the third painting I made in that. I was feeling better physically, enough so to stretch a large canvas. In the under painting of acrylic gesso mixed with plaster and semen, I painted an equation, with my blood. In essence it describes the population of the earth at the time I painted this, divided by the claimed wealth of all nations, which then equals the amount you are entitled to. No questions, no legal defence allowed. You are all way over budget. Time to stop. I followed the equation with an acrylic under painting of a nuclear explosion. Which was followed by the self portrait ripping my face off.
I called it tri-polar because I did not agree with my psychiatrist. All you have is on or off, I have an in between which allows me to divert the rage in us all into art. Do you? I think that is how art happens.
I made this slideshow type video for a show I had in 2012. There were more paintings than wall space, and the gallery had kindly offered a 48″ television with a USB port to carry a video on a loop. I made the soundtrack with garage band on the 2009 iMac I had. It worked well and I was able to show more of this series of paintings.
The idea came from watching what was going on in the middle eastern countries at that time, 2011. The first pieces are from Syria, and an echo from the past as the same people are doing the bombing on the Ukraine today.
The idea still seems relevant, considering what we are all seeing in Eurasia. It is murder on an enormous scale.
The show is concerning the order and disorder of mental health.
My condition is bi-polar, but I prefer to say I am bi-polar.
This work is all entirely new long after the themes of the show and the work have been decided. The work keeps happening, it keeps changing too. We live in a change machine. Its the second law of thermodynamics. Entropy will always increase